From: NoScieno@aol.com (NoScieno)
Subject: Re: I would like to hear from peopel who have had some bad experience
Date: Wed, 9 Sep 1998 06:09:02 -0500
In article <email@example.com>, firstname.lastname@example.org says ...
With Scientology, because i have heard a lot of bad things about Scientology but all ways from second hand so i dont now if it is true and if it is true i dont wanna wast my time and getting deeper into it.
Thanks in regard.
I started Scientology at the enthusiastic recommendation of a buddy, who had himself joined up with them shortly before. After starting the first course I got enough of a buzz off of the TRs that I coaxed my girlfriend to give it a try. The staff were all real nice as long as everything was going along smoothly, although they wouldn't answer questions directly -- they'd refer me to literature for my answers or give vague reassurances that I'd "understand later." On my girlfriend's second day and my second week the staff set me to "coaching" her on TR-0 (one of the primary Training Routines, where you sit knee-to-knee and stare at each other without moving, blinking or anything). I had to "Flunk" her if she even twitched, and start over. The goal is to be able to do that for over an hour without a "flunk." She started trembling and sweating more and more, and I was flunking her again and again -- taking a break was NOT part of the plan, we had to keep going until she got over it. After about 45 minutes or so she suddenly bolted from her seat, choked back a shriek and burst from the Course Room. She ran crying out the door and straight across the street into a small park across the road (she said later that she didn't even think to look for cars -- she could easily have been killed right there!). I was shocked and very concerned, so naturally I followed at once. The staff had seen her run out, and as I headed for the door they stopped me. Gently but firmly the grasped my elbows and said "you can stay here, we'll handle her" WITH THAT SAME VAGUE REASSURING TONE. Something snapped and the spell was broken instantly. In a split second I wrenched my arms free and said "Let GO of me -- and don't FOLLOW us!" as two of them were already about to go after her like fucking dogcatchers. To their goddamn credit they didn't pursue us, but I'm fairly certain at this point that they were watching. I went across and found her behind a tree, sobbing like crazy. When she saw me she gave a shudder of FEAR and lurched to her feet as if to run FROM ME! I said "No, no, Kris, we're not going back in there!" We fell into each other's arms and held tight for many minutes, before leaving for good -- swearing to God never to set foot in a Scientology place again.
Over twenty-five years later I have not broken that vow for any reason.
The attitude of the staff changed completely after that, and it was obvious that the friendliness they had displayed was FALSE, and only calculated to keep me bumping along in the desired direction.
The org called me several times a week for the rest of that summer. They wrote quite a few letters too. They never ASKED why I didn't come back, so obviously they KNEW, but they didn't bring it up. They only wanted me BACK. NO, I said again and again. I said if they wanted to do something for me they could refund my course fee which, up until then, I had not asked for despite the "money back if not satisfied" promise they had made. It was just twenty-five stupid dollars. Incredible but true, they said I would have to actually FINISH the Communications Course in order to be entitled to a refund! Finally my mother threatened to call the police if they didn't stop calling, and the phone calls abruptly CEASED. The mailing list follows me to this day, however, despite several attempts to get off of it.
We were just teenagers, kids for God's sake. We got over the upset though and got on with life, REAL life where WE make the choices for ourselves, not just following a rigid program of courses check-sheets and "levels." No THANK you!
I must have thrown out hundreds of pounds of Scientology junk mail since then. I'd read some of it sometimes, just shake my head and look at the pictures of scrubbed smiling faces, try to make some sense of the Hubbard essays in the magazines, scan the price-list insert, sigh, throw it in the trash and figure, "guess it makes them happy."
That was that for over two decades. I just chalked it off as a learning experience (taught me never to fall for something like THAT again). All that time I figured that Scientology was just a mostly harmless bunch of deluded fools whose religion mainly worshipped MONEY.
Then I hit the Internet.
Actually I was on the 'net for a while before, on a whim, I entered "scientology" in a search engine.
Wham. Goodbye to the notion of "mostly harmless." I browsed through some websites a bit, took a glance at a.r.s. when I found a pointer to it, looked at Scientology's site (I think it was actually an announcement for that in a Scientology magazine that prompted the whim in the first place), and just generally had a sniff around. I couldn't believe my eyes. I skimmed through some of the webbed books and essays and spent a fair amount of time in the critical sites, then searched in vain for something to counter it in the Scientology website. What are these people ABOUT? I wondered. And what are the critics ABOUT?
I did that for a month or so (would've been early 1995), then let it go. Hell, there's so much stuff on the web and there were other things that I wanted to put my attention on ...
I found www.dancris.com/~rshaw, the infamous "ARS Bigots" pages. I quickly realized, of course, that it was "pro-CofS," and just as quickly found that it didn't really defend the CofS against the charges the critics were leveling against it. It was just a trash site, nothing but ripping up a few of the critics, bringing up dirty laundry that had nothing to do with the controversy ...
Russ, you seem like a nice fellow. Too bad Hubbard turned you into such a piece of shit. Hate to break it to you, but you've got a surprise in store at the end of this lifetime, Whore.
Don't bother with a comeback, you're permanently Bozo-Binned.
As I said, I let it go at that. I'd seen enough to form an opinion, and I had other things to do.
Then the Lisa McPherson case came to light, over a year after she died. I saw the _A Current Affair_ programs in January and March of 1997. What a gorgeous sweet doll of a face. What a terrible way to die. I flashed back 25 years to that horrible day that I, following instructions, smashed my own girlfriend's mind for those assholes' purposes; and everything connected. But for a stroke of pure luck, I could still be in that fucking group somewhere, or dead like Lisa McPherson -- and so could my girlfriend. The way we were treated so long ago, distilled and concentrated at the Flag Mecca of Technical Perfection, is exactly the way Lisa McPherson was treated.
AND IT KILLED HER
The way things were explained to us then -- not at all -- is exactly the way Mr. MiKe WhoeverHeIs explains things to this newsgroup. Not at all.
AND THAT PISSES ME OFF
"White," please take this thought: There is no problem in your life that Scientology can help you with, that you yourself can't deal with much more effectively, without banging your heart out against some mad bugger's Wall.
Think For Yourself
Aftermath: To the regulars in the group I apologise for the profanity. You know I don't usually talk that way, something about the knot of this thread struck a nerve. Anyone who wants to web this my-story, I'm sure I can give you a more temperate version, just ask.
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L. Ron Hubbard LIED
Lisa McPherson DIED