Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology Date: Thu, 24 Jul 1997 17:57:52 -0500 Message-ID: <19970724225701.SAA08811@ladder01.news.aol.com> From: atarax88@aol.com (Atarax88) Subject: Re: Are there $cientology jokes Lines: 61 NNTP-Posting-Host: ladder01.news.aol.com X-Admin: news@aol.com Organization: AOL http://www.aol.com References: <33D77E5F.4848@HotMail.com> From: Joa Koester > >Hi there, > >it may be a stupid question, but: > > are there $cientology jokes around? > You mean in-jokes, or jokes outsiders make about Scientology? Here's an in-joke, for example: A Sea Org new recruit, a Petty Officer, and David Miscavige all went out together to a coffee shop. After they sat down they waited and waited to be served, but the waitress didn't come over to their table. The new recruit figured he'd show that he was a really competent sort, and would take care of this. "I'll just have to CONFRONT the waitress really well and the problem will go away" he thought to himself. So he made a funny, intent face that the petty officer noticed, while confronting the waitress. "Oh no," the petty officer thought, "and he looked like a nice normal recruit at first." So he asked the new guy what was the matter. "Well I'm trying to confront the waitress to handle this problem," the recruit said. "Oh there's more to it than that," the petty officer told him. "You start with confronting but then you have to add INTENTION adeqaute to the task, see? I show you." So the petty officer intended and intended and intended really hard for the waitress to come over. "What's with you two?" Miscavige inquired. " Why are you making funny faces?" "Well we're both confronting the waitress and intending for her to come over, so we can get some coffee. Think your OT powers will help out here?" the petty officer asked, sheepish that he hadn't solved the problem either. "Of course," Miscavige said. "OH MISS - can we get coffee over here," he spoke loudly across the room. ====== There are various versions of this joke. It has floated around in Scientology circles a long time in various tellings (using objects other than Miscavige, since the joke is well older than his fame).