[NOTE: The author says the name in the second paragraph was actually meant to be 'L. Ron Hubbard'. I still like it better this way :-) ] From: robertcarr@msn.com (Rob Carr) Subject: Do you spend too much time on a.r.s.? Date: Fri, 16 Jan 1998 09:44:11 -0600 Message-ID: <884962210.1035141126@dejanews.com> Newsgroups: alt.religion.scientology Signs you’ve been spending too much time on alt.religion.scientology: * Your spell checker no longer rejects the following words: Scientology, scientologist, scamatology, Xenu, Thetan, enturbulate, OSA, MEST, L. Ron Howard * You realize that to reach a figure of almost ten million the CoS must be counting everyone on a.r.s. as a Scientologist. * (Scientologists only) You’ve started to wonder if what happened to Lisa McPherson could happen to you. * You’ve memorized the URLs for the web sites for Scientology and it’s critics - in number form. * You missed justin during his recent absence. * You know the names and basic interests of the top 100 a.r.s. posters and can even list what side they’re on. * (Scientologists only) You’re wondering how you’ll do on your next audit because you know Heber looked silly on Public Eye. * You know more about Scientology than most OSA personnel. * (Scientologists only) You now know the next three levels of the bridge and wish you didn't have to pay for them. * Not only did you think rec.hobbies.scientology.criticize was funny, but you think it’s a good idea. * But you think rec.hobbies.whack.a.scientologist would be even more accurate. (note: this is a parody on "Whack a Mole" at the pizza place with the giant rodent, not whack used in the mob (they don't exist either) sense) * You know why wgert hates gays so much. * You wrote an Eliza - style program for a Turing test, but it fails because everyone picks justin as the computer program. * (Scientologists only) You realize that you will never move any further up the Scientology organizational chart because of the time you’ve spent on a.r.s.: they’ll never completely trust you now. * You actually read all 600 posts each day. * You get all these jokes. * You spent time writing this list. And the strongest indication you've been hanging out on a.r.s to much: * You’re beginning to understand Koos’s posts. -------------------==== Posted via Deja News ====----------------------- http://www.dejanews.com/ Search, Read, Post to Usenet